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Do you ever feel like you are just about doing it all... but not doing any of it well enough?
As busy, professional women it's so easy to find ourselves wearing multiple hats — we have to be entrepreneurs or business women, career driven woman, wives and partners, mums and daughters, friends and caregivers. We can be drowning in so many responsibilities and problems to solve, and it can often feel like everyone is depending on you to save the world!
Is it any wonder we can find ourselves struggling with managing all the stress?
As superwomen, we can often develop a fear of dropping a ball somewhere in this juggle we call life. And, let's be honest, with so much at stake in each life area we are managing, it can feel so hard to prioritise, especially when our emotional heart strings are being pulled in every direction.
Who and what do we take care of first? How do we make the best use of our time and where can we find the energy we REALLY need to get things done?
Ironically, problems managing stress and superwomen syndrome tend to go hand in hand for us all. Managing stress is often the very thing we are not "super" at doing.
We can drive ourselves to the point that a mental breakdown is so close that we can feel it's breath brushing against the back of our overly tense shoulders, but still we don't stop. The pressure to excel in every aspect can lead us to strive for perfection and high status, without even stopping to ask ourselves "What on earth am I actually doing?"
The intense drive for success is often fuelled more by our fear of failure and a longing for status just to prove we are worthy, than it is by anything else.
And we can often become really "good" at being superwomen, but the question is at what cost to our health and relationships and for how long can we really expect to maintain it?
The Emotional Weight of Balancing Multiple Roles
Balancing a demanding career with family responsibilities and aging parents is no small feat. One of my clients Sarah, is a 42-year-old marketing director and mother of two, who also cares for her elderly mother. Stress management did not come naturally to her and she felt trapped between a rock and a hard place when it came to juggling all her responsibilities. Each day presented a new set of challenges, from meeting tight deadlines at work to managing her children’s schooling and after school activities and ensuring her mother’s health appointments were kept. It was a lot to take care of. Like so many of us, the way that she made all this happen is by low prioritising herself and her own needs, which is what tends to happen when we end up embodying the so-called 'Superwomen Syndrome.'
Any of this sounding familiar?
The Risks of Burnout
In striving to meet our own unrealistic expectations, and without having a solid stress management strategy in place, burnout lurks just around the corner. Symptoms may include persistent tiredness, cynicism towards our job roles, and a significant drop in our performance—both at work and home. Life may begin to lose its sparkle and it can become almost impossible to be fully present with our loved ones. We find ourselves being over reactive, snappy and irritable and simply not enjoying life much anymore. We may even begin to feel trapped and as if this is our new normal. But it doesn't have to be this way. Life is not supposed to be endured it is to be enjoyed (even if we do have a lot to contend with every day).
Recognizing these signs early can be a game-changer, allowing for interventions BEFORE you reach a breaking point and that burnout monster catches up with you and swallows you whole.
Practical Strategies to Reduce Emotional Burden
So, how can you ease these pressures? First, with Sarah, we set clear boundaries between her work and her personal life, this meant practical action steps such as turning off work emails during family dinners and setting specific times to check in on her parents. She also needed to get out of the habit of responding to everybody straight away, and letting herself breathe.
Checking the messages every hour or two instead of every 10 minutes was a good start and then resisting the urge to respond to anything in that moment (unless it was truly urgent) gave her much more time to focus on what mattered in her busy day.
Prioritizing self-care is also crucial; it isn’t selfish to take a moment for a coffee break alone or a short walk. It is a survival strategy! I introduced her to something called a "60 second mind body reset", which is a simple but very powerful mindfulness exercise that allowed her to find a moment of calm and control in the day of chaos. Everybody has 60 seconds to spare somewhere for this and when you apply it you can be so surprised to discover that slowing things down and pausing actually ends up with making us faster and increasing our productivity, because we are able to recharge and refocus our energy on what matters most, to get things done with clarity. Delegation is also key— both at work and home. Utilizing resources like grocery delivery services or sharing household chores can free up valuable time. Getting the kids doing things for themselves is major, as is asking for help instead of waiting on everybody hand and foot or expecting help to be offered. People need instructions! And, in the end we all like to feel useful and needed no matter how much someone may grumble in the moment. We do our family more of a service by involving them in our own needs, rather than disempowering them by doing everything for them or by getting frustrated with them, because of their lack of willingness to step up and help us unprompted!
If we want someone to do something for us, then it is always a good idea to start by asking for it, rather than expecting them to read our mind.
Introducing Forever After Ease: Stress Solutions
For those seeking more structured support, my 'Forever After Ease' personal taster session, (priced at just 97 euros), offers tailor made strategies to start to manage your stress and self care more effectively. This single session is designed to provide professional women of all ages, with tools, support and help to balance their emotional health amidst their busy lives.
Whilst the allure of being 'Superwoman' can be strong, it's vital to remember that true strength lies in your ability to balance and self-care. Putting your own oxygen mask on first is a life skill and it can take some practice to get used to treating yourself with the love and care that you do truly deserve. Let’s redefine what it means to be a 'Superwoman,' and help you by taking your first step towards a healthier, more balanced life by exploring what a simple 'Forever After Ease' session can do for you.
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